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Archive for May 12th, 2008

Although his performance has been somewhat improved since his last inspection and routine cleaning, Roomba still hasn’t been himself lately. Empathetic, I found him this morning in a lonely corner, repeatedly banging his head.

With screwdriver and seam ripper in hand, I performed a colonoscopy. Having only crude tools and no sedatives to offer, I wasn’t sure I was qualified; however, the procedure was successful. I found and removed the likely source of his abnormal behavior and weakness: a massive and very compact hairball hidden under his front wheel.

A warning to fellow Roomba enthusiasts: Front wheel hairballs must be treated immediately or they may cause Roomba to stop feeding and, ultimately, die. (It’s “hou’-zing,” darn it.)

He seemed his old self immediately afterwards — still minus his side brushes, of course. 😕

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They have no toleration for squealers. The victim’s shrill cries alerted me of the attack, but I was too late. Now, a plushie bovine carcass lies on my living room carpet, its cottony entrails strewn the width and breadth of the floor…

It didn’t have the guts to defend itself, and yet they still tried to pass it off as an “accident.”

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